Things I'd rather smell than jasmine rice

I had to post this blog because I’ve been annoying my wife to no end about this. She’s as sick as can be about listening to me go on and on about this. I am on a proverbial nut about it. When you cook jasmine rice in your house, your house stinks to holy high heaven. This is a non-comprehensive list of things I would rather smell than jasmine rice:

1) Eat a pound of asparagus and piss all over my face.

2) Dog farts

3) Lock me in a room full of frat boys about to go to a party. Their liberal application of Drakkar is only rivaled by little old ladies applying flowery stink before church.

4) Eat 2 heads of cabbage and trap me under your covers as you go to bed that night.

5) I’d rather smell Mo’s black tongue

6) Lock me in a Disney gift shop full of middle-eastern vacationers

7) My vans and Rocky Horror t-shirt after Brett Morales borrowed them for a night

8) Bum-piss

9) Mini-van puke smell (I think they make little Christmas trees with this scent)

10) Week old street pizza